Youth Suicides It Can Be Prevented!

It's Happening More NOW!

More and more teens are committing suicide for so many reasons and yet not many people are really understanding of why it is happening.At the end of this post I will put a number for a Hotline for teens so that parents and friends of suicidal teens may help them get the help that they need.This is serious.

We all remember what it was like being a teenager for some it really wasn't that long ago.I am a 22 year old and of course I still remember what it was like being a teen.Except the difference now is that the generations after us have gone in a different direction.A direction that has caused so many suicides for specifically the youth group.

First to tell my story and why I am writing about this subject.

When I was in high school I was picked on a lot by many people that I thought were my friends.They would spread rumors and print out private conversations between me and a person I thought that I could trust and read it out loud in class.While all this was happening I was also having a really hard time at home. My mother was always verbally abusive and always blaming me for things that didn't make any sense to me and my dad wasn't always there to help me through anything because he was more focused on other things than me his own daughter.I started getting depressed and was always blaming myself for the things that were happening in my life.But I wouldn't show anyone that my life was falling apart and the pain started to get worse and worse.By the time I was 17 I started etching the pain into my skin yes that means I was cutting myself and having suicidal thoughts and no one even noticed because I wouldn't let them.I was so far into a dark hole that I never thought I would come out of it until one of my friends started looking a little closer at what was happening to me.Finally after a long time of trying to beat the truth out of me I ended up telling her what was happening.She didn't tell anyone else but throughout the rest of high school she was right beside me and backing me up when I didn't have a voice to use because I was so beat down.After she graduated and left me to endure senior year I started to realize I can't depend on others to speak for me and I started standing up and fighting for myself.To those who teased me and used my friendship as a game I stood up to them and spoke out for myself and they backed off because I wasn't going to be their door matt any longer.

This isn't the whole story of how it all went down it is just a summary taking the time to type it all out would be time consuming.

But there are quiet a few reasons as to why teens don't talk to anyone about their depression and end up feeling alone and end up hurting themselves.

1.Bullying:Today teens are walking the halls with fear in their heads because they are afraid of becoming targets of bullying.The only problem with that is that the more they become afraid about becoming targets the more they give the "bullies"power.Not only are they afraid it's happening but when it's happening to someone else no one is doing anything about it!Teens watching others being bullied don't usually take action to prevent it from happening instead of preventing it they end up taking part in the bullying because they are afraid if they help they will be bullied as well.Or they look at the person's problems as not their problems.It IS your problem because you aren't doing anything to help.

If we make the choice to be the voice for people who cannot speak up for themselves we can save so many lives that bullying wouldn't be a problem anymore.Don't be afraid to speak up for someone who can't speak for themselves or if you are afraid for yourself tell an adult.

2.Problems at Home:Not everyone talks about the problems that are happening at home.Some teens are subjected to abuse at home and no one would even know because they are afraid something will happen to them or a loved one that lives in the same household and wouldn't even speak about it because the fear has taken completely over.They start thinking "it's all my fault"so they never say anything or start making excuses.

It's not just abuse it's also communication problems between the parents and teens.Some parents are either so consumed in their own routines of their day to day life that they don't even realize what is going on in their own household.By the time parents realize something is off about their children it's often already too late for them to do anything about it.

If someone is being abused do something about it tell the police if someone is getting hurt and they aren't helping themselves because truth is chances are not just one person in that household is being hurt and it becomes dangerous.Teens remember that it isn't your fault if you are being hurt then you NEED to talk to someone about it preferably the police.please, please don't be afraid to tell someone if you or a loved one is being hurt.

Parent's please become more attentive about how your child is acting at home because chances are they are having problems they aren't speaking to you about.Make sure they can come to you without the fear of judgement.Teens usually don't tell their parents because of the fear of being judged by someone they care about.Assure them that you are always going to be there for them and will get through it together.Last and please do NOT! show any signs or signals that you are angry about what they told you because it took them a lot of courage to show you what was going on with them.

3.Gay/Lesbian/Bisexual/Transgendered: A lot of teens are being teased and abused at school because they have "come out of the closet" as they say.As a bisexual female I was lucky to have an accepting school.But for some they aren't so lucky.Teens that come out as gay, lesbian, or bisexual are often hazed and abused in school because they came out or were outed by someone. Often made fun of and mocked by other teens they are often thinking that something is wrong with them and asking "why is this happening to me?what did I do?" you didn't DO anything!you are who you are and you should be proud.It's hard being a teen and coming out as gay because most of society and generations before us have taught their children that being gay is "wrong".Teens are ashamed to talk to their parents or friends about being gay because society has shown them that it is wrong!There isn't anything wrong with being gay, lesbian, or bisexual or even transgendered.It's just something different that people need to get over because it is going to happen no matter what you do or say.The fear of something different shouldn't make you look at other people different they are the same person nothing but their sexual orientation has changed it wont change who they are.

4.Genetics: Teens with a history of bi-polar disorders or depression any history of mental illness or with drug and alcohol abuse are 95% of the teens that commit suicide.If you have a child with a mental illness take them to a Psychologist not a Psychiatrist.Psychologist studies the mind and doesn't give medication I would recommend that going to a psychologist first would be the best thing to do first if they end up needing medication then the psychologist can refer them to someone they can get the medication from but is keeping their appointments with them.A psychiatrist is someone who gives medication for the mind yes they do also study the mind as well but not as in depth as a psychologist.

The list goes on and on people!What we need to do is start preventing it from happening to anyone else.If you see a teen that you know or a friend that is acting different or is expressing that they are going to hurt themselves or thinking about suicidal thoughts don't just sit there do something about it!Make the choice to be the voice for those who can't speak up for themselves and we can save so many more lives.Youth suicides is preventable if you aren't able to help then make a call to a suicidal hotline and they will help you.

Phone Hotline for Teens: 800-784-2433 (Suicide)

Start saving lives of teens :).

-Kristin

Long Distance Relationships

Long Distance Relationships

So a friend of mine asked me to write some advice about long distance relationships.I've had quiet a few but like every relationship they are all different for different people.

So let's get started.

Long distance relationships phew, a very difficult subject to even get started on.There are many pro's and con's like any relationship one added con would be the distance between the couple.The pro of these types of relationships is the test of loyalty and just getting even closer in general.Relationships are hard for anyone.Long distance isn't an exception.Personally I wouldn't do those again just because personally I can't deal with the distance and being away from someone that I want to be with.Just because it doesn't work for me doesn't mean it can't work for someone else.Look at people in the military they have to be away almost all the time and they end up missing out on things in life at home.But most of the spouses or partners that remain loyal in a relationship like that I really give them their props because they found a way to make it work for them.

Aside from those in the military what about those who aren't?

Well always hard to say.Honestly it depends on the people that are in the relationship and what the situation is.If you want to be with someone then be with them distance can only make your relationship stronger or it can tear you apart how it ends up really is up to the TWO of you not just one.Communication really is key if you are in any kind of relationship but more so in a long distance one because you aren't able to see what the other one is doing or how they are doing.

The thing about long distance relationships is that they will only work if both partners make it work Together.I can't stress this enough in order to make it work the two of you have to make it work.Long distance is a true test of loyalty and trust between the two of you and if you don't have either well honestly it wouldn't work out very much.

Types of long distance relationships I will try and cover as much as I can with these subjects and lay out the pro's and con's of each scenario as much as possible.

You Met Them Online and Have Been Talking For More Than 6 Months - A Year and beyond:

The thing about meeting people online is you never really know who they really are but don't let that discourage you if they turn out to be legit and you have met them more than just a few times and kept constant communication and you want to be in a relationship with them here is something that should be remembered.They won't always be beside you so you wont always know what they are doing and vice versa.Not to be discouraging but I will get right down to the negatives first.The thing about this situation is that the fact that you personally have no idea what they are doing 24/7 and you can't be there to ask so you have no choice but to leave faith in them.The fact is you DON'T know what they are doing or who else they are seeing and, you aren't there to see if they are telling you the truth or not.To physically see and able to tell if someone is lying straight to your face is easy the problem with long distance relationships is that if they are lying and don't want to talk about it they can easily hang up on you over the phone, log offline in the middle of an internet chat with you, or just plain not answering to anything from you at all.But don't worry not every long distance relationship is like this!Now for the light of this rather dark tunnel there are just as much positives as there are negatives to these relationships.Having a loyal partner is a hard thing to come across in this type of relationship it's hard but there are some out there.Those who manage to find it actually have real strong relationships because of the distance it makes you want the other person near you more to be with them someday.And to work hard so that one day you can be together.The types of people that come out of these types of relationships come out as fighters.Not the physical types but one's that fight for something they want in life like love.

You've Known Them Forever!But They Had to Move:

This one is usually directed towards teens because most older generations could just transfer jobs, colleges, ect. To be with that person. Now the thing about this and I am only talking about teenagers right now adults I will get back to you momentarily.Teens if "the love of your life" has gone away don't trip too hard about it.It will hurt for a while heck it may hurt for a really long time, But just because they are gone doesn't mean that their feelings or yours doesn't matter anymore.It's always hard for teens to be in this type of relationship because they are either just starting out in the dating field and found a person they can truly connect to or they have been in this relationship for a while and they know the difference between love and lust for eachother. Which makes it even harder for them.That love for anyone is hard to come by but honestly it will not come around only one time.Getting to my point teens if you want the relationship to work and you are determined to be with them after you turn 18 or graduate highschool then I say be with them.If you aren't able to handle being away then honestly you should make the decision to be friends.You can't just drop them out of your life especially if they were a good friend to you chances are you wouldn't find someone as real to you as them.I would suggest keeping them around and NOT playing the field when you are with them but can't handle it. Being friends is better than being nothing with someone you love.

Alrighty Adults it is your turn!About this situation is you have the choice on weather to follow your heart to wherever it may lead you.But at the same time you have to ask yourself Can I really see it going anywhere with him/her if we live here together?with this you REALLY do need to think and I mean think hard about this type of decision!Make sure you will be able to take care of yourself in case it didn't work out with them because let's face it not all relationships work out.You need to make sure that no matter what happens you always have a place to go or a job that you can count on.Things tend to happen good and bad but not many people really think bad things can happen just because they been together for so long well sorry it does happen and you can't always think it wont happen to you.Remember to look at reality and not just what is in your heart because chances are your heart isn't always right.

In the end with any relationship it's always going to be hard staying with someone if you want to be with them then be with them!if you don't well then don't string them along because that is just immoral and a stupid thing to do.If you are not happy in a relationship then don't be in one!it really is that simple.If you want things to work out then work together distance is just a hurdle you both need to jump over.Communicate!talk talk and more talking about anything feelings, your day, whatever!make sure that you both communicate about whatever you need to so that the relationship don't go down the drain.Another thing to remember is that love isn't something you can easily get rid of and it isn't something that is just confined to one area.Love is not easily distracted or destroyed by anything.If you really love someone then do your best to be with them even if it is over a distance.Make them happy and vice versa if you are happy and they are happy you have a good relationship.If you or they aren't happy and nothing seems to be going right well then there's something wrong there and you may end up being just friends.One last thing to remember relationships don't always last forever!

Relationships NOW

Relationships are far more different now than they were say 10 years ago and much further than that.I am 22 years old and have had my fair share of relationships with men and yes also with women but not at the same time.

So what's the difference?

Well from what I have been observing over the years is that no one is settled with just one person anymore and let's face it Guys at first you were running the relationship/player games.Most of you guys  and I say most because not every guy is the same way.Getting back to what I was saying most guys were off playing games with potential partners some seeing if they were worthy to be "the one" or to just play the field and have no attachments.And others just didn't really care what was going to happen to the other for some reason that isn't always clear except to the one who does it all.

The thing about guys "playing the field" or doing whatever they were doing to go through the relationship over the years women everywhere started to have enough of all the games.Now it turns out most of the guys that didn't want a relationship before are starting to want true ones now or guys want real relationships in general.Well guys sorry to burst your bubble but it looks like the Girls are getting the ultimate revenge against you even if you weren't the one who did anything to the girls you are being included in the so called "revenge".Women are now taking over the game and it really is a shame.

No I am not discriminating or saying which sex or gender is being the worse in this world that's not what this blog is about so don't get it twisted.

It is just clear now that people are forgetting what real relationships are about and are too busy playing all these ridiculous games so that no one gets hurt.Well news flash and I can't begin to stress this enough EVERYONE is getting hurt!it doesn't matter if you are male or female all these stupid games to see who is worthy or just to get sex is just pure madness!really what is the point in all of this?what is going to happen when you want to settle down and find someone but can't because they are not looking for a relationship or when they are just toying with you to get what they want?

You are going to end up being the one that is hurt the most.

Our generation and under is suffering because everyone wants to be kids and play all these games that don't make any sense.Looking at generations before us you wonder why there were so many people that stayed together it's because they didn't make the mistake this generation is starting to.

I've visited so many websites 

Myyearbook aka Meetme.com is supposed to be a site that is for connecting to your friends and probably meeting new ones and end up being potential dates.

What I've noticed:I've been on this site for quiet a while and a couple years ago connecting to friends and finding potentials is what the site was all about at the time.

Difference Now:Now all it is about is to be honest all about sex and hooking up for drugs and other crap.I have never seen so many people looking for a "hook up" I may be young but I still know the difference between hooking up and being in a relationship.I can't believe how many times I have seen guys write how it's hard to find a girl that will be "real" with you or one that isn't a complete slut. Oy the thought about it all just gives me a headache.Or girls that are looking for a knight and shining armor face it girls we aren't going to find anyone like that because any ones idea of a perfect partner is all in your head.No one is perfect at all get over it.

Okcupid.com:Another popular dating site that matches you with whoever based on questions you answer in your profile and the ratings are classified under Match, Friend, and Enemy.

Usually I am not judgemental but lately this thing about people have been irritating me especially women.I apologize if you take offense but this has to be said.

What I've Noticed:Yes anyone can be on this site and put their preference on if they want casual sex, friendship, relationship, ect... which is fine because lets face it if we want causal sex we aren't going to mark here for relationships right?fine.

Irritation:I've been on this site quiet a while as well just to chat and see if there are any potentials but there are just so many ridiculous things on this site I can't even begin to explain.But the thing that I've been noticing so far is that people that are in a relationship already are on this site.I'm not done yet so don't complain.The problem that gets me is that all these people are in a relationship and yet are looking for ANOTHER to add fun to their relationship.Well great except you are on a dating site not a let's have sex and that's it site.The point of dating sites is that people that are already SINGLE have a chance to find someone not to include themselves in your little sex only relationship.That's just unrealistic and honestly selfish because you want someone to have sex with and your partner is okay with that.Sorry that's not how a relationship works.

Also those who are single but not looking for a relationship or to even talk to anyone on the sites any sites really honestly what the hell are you there for then?seriously you want nothing to do with anyone or aren't looking for something then get off the site.Friends?fine but if you aren't there for anything then seriously don't waste your time being on there and don't waste other peoples time by being on there looking for nothing.

Where was I going with this?oh yes!What I am trying to explain to everyone is love real love has become something much harder to find since sex became so much easier to get.Admit it we all know it's true now.Everywhere I go now everyone is just either talking about sex or drugs my goodness that is not something you just spill your guts out in the street about!and teenagers wow teens the way the girls are dressing sorry S-L-U-T status not all but most are trying to look older and show more skin truth is WAY too much skin.And they really wonder why they are not taken seriously...girls don't dress like you are going to a night club or make yourself look older sorry but you all look like hookers or really cheap and easy and not all of you want to be perceived as that.There will always be a time in the future to dress like a woman on the move to a night club to have fun and I mean fun as in having fun with friends and dancing not having sex with some random stranger.

Teenage boys yeay fun subject here.Along with the girls the guys are all trying to act "hard" and other crap by telling their friends oh yea I did her or I did this drug and that. Whoa now slow down there guys you are still just TEENS and you really don't want to screw up your life or potential relationships before you even reach 20.Believe me you don't want horrible reputations later on in life because those follow you everywhere weather you know it or not.There are so much more you teens can be guy/girl you know whatever you guys are just starting to find out who you are going to be in the world don't start out that journey with drugs and stupid sex talks that will end up ruining you.

What We Don't Get:

Last thing that people are not seeming to understand and yet it keeps being brought up and is constantly talked about.

Trying to understand the opposite sex.

Women say men are hard to understand and are difficult or impossible

Men say the exact same thing about women 

truth is no one gender is more difficult than the other it is just the things we do and handle are DIFFERENT! and I cannot stress this enough.Honestly men and women are not difficult to each other because it is in our genetic coding as women or men its the fact that we don't understand the differences in how we do things.

If you really want to know the true difference between men and women the simple explanation is there aren't a difference between us just the way we handle things and why.

Women are raised and are naturally nurturing and express their emotions when they talk about whatever they are passionate about and things that bother them the most.

Men are a little difference they are raised to be as strong or even stronger than their fathers or male figures that came before them.To express their emotions as less as possible to keep from getting hurt and to mask their pain behind emotional walls.

Some women actually hide their pain behind a really thick wall better than men 

and some men actually are more nurturing and emotional (once their trust wall comes down) just as much as women.

Like I said WE are not different the things we do and how we do them are different.

-Kristin